Sunday, February 29, 2004

[[hey cool shits (not the not cool ones they can suck some sex crazed cock)]]

im in such a spiff mood ... lynn and melissa came over and we discussed some things and we all discussed the book and all that good shit ... and the bad shit .. .i guess we jsut love the cock ... so anyways i had a good day of taking the dog for a walk and all that and like i like walked and then i sat around and touched my self then i like watched tv and adam came over and we fucked ... wait no ... i have more of a life than that anyways then lynn and melissa came over and we fucked...wait not... i dont do the girl shit... but we did talk about sex.... yes yes we did lol and it was fucking hilarious like if two fat people had sex it be like if two balls we laying on eachother they would just roll off eachother lmao ... i had a good day must be going now love always ... chell

Thought of you at... |7:42:00 PM|

[[im in a good mood lol]]

My friends all call me crazy
cause I stay up late anticipating,
and planning for the day I sweep you off your feet,
I'd never leave you alone.

Laetitia, you got my hand shaking,
I'm begging you oh baby please stop breaking my heart
because I got the feeling
that you and I will never really get it on.

So I'll leave my door open all night
in case you decide you want to stop on by.
Because you got to know..
who's been singing that song on the radio.
The one that goes...

Girl, come to me...
The only broken-hearted loser you'll ever need,
or I'll be left alone forever with my magazines.



lol im for ever left with my magazines lol im so funnie

Thought of you at... |11:26:00 AM|

[[bitch bitch bitch]]

look wat one of my "good" friends wrote about me:


I feel as though some of my friends are using me for my moms house and like... thats the only reason im there... Cuz i piss them off all the time and all they do is ask,, "when we goin to ur moms?". They want me to help them which this book... i duno if i want to... cuz then im gonna feel as though im sex crazed... which im not... because i dont even have sex... well i guess thats a crime nowadays...

I've come to the conclusion that i never have anything to say. Maybe ill just stop talking to people that judge you on what you say... that's why I like my guy friends... they never do that... and Im not saying that ALL my gurlies do.. but ya know how the female species is... I can actually have a good conversation with my guy friends that never ends with somone saying "yeah i fucked my boyfriend last night" or something related to their sex-life.

Oh yeah I got silver in VICA... Maybe it's time i go on co-op to be free from the people that make me feel like shizzle...

-Heather-Heather-


welll fuck head if we make you feel like shit so much why did you keep talking to us ... why do you always fucking never tell us shit that makes you feel like shit... how are we supposed to be good friends if you wont let us no what the hell is bugging you and then fucking write it in your journal and brag about how awesome your bfs friends are because tahts all you are gonna have left ... thats all i have to say good day

Thought of you at... |9:13:00 AM|

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Saturday, February 28, 2004

[[...bored]]

blah bored blah its not that im in a bad mood its just that its beautiful day out
and i have no one to spend it with its quite depressing i played with clyde but it wasnt the same ... it hink heather is mad about me ... something to do with pancakes... i think i dunno o well i guess i will just look stuff up for the book now good day to you all

Thought of you at... |1:53:00 PM|

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Thursday, February 26, 2004

[[i had such a wonderful day]]

sigh .. it was lovely lol just lovely there was pancakes involved and i fell asleep and i woke up and adam was snuggling wiht me aww hes so cute ... i love him lol i duno i jsut tihnk that is so awesome of him to let me sleep and then like for him to like hug me he is just that awesome .. im in the most lovey dovey gushy mood ever in my life lol ill be goin to school with a smil on my face because i no that my muffin loves me

Thought of you at... |7:35:00 PM|

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004

[[hey all]]

im in a pretty good mood im kinda like just feeling normal i guess like not hyper or nothing o well i got my ticket im so excited fuck yes and colin is now buggin me to go see blink 182 with him with back stage passes lol
o well im just doin home work and excited about tomorro love you chell

Thought of you at... |7:40:00 PM|

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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

[[umm ignore that post that says im in love]]

lol yea joe rote that cool kid post lol anyways im excited people are being switched into my math class which is soo cool and like im so excited and the concert AND thursday omg omg omg omg

Thought of you at... |8:11:00 PM|

[[IM IN LOVE!]]

YES IM IN LOVE! IM SO HAPPY! YES I SAID HAPPY FOR ONCE! UGH WELL YEA IM IN LOVE YUP MY LOVE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE :) YOU MAKE ME HAPPY N SMILE AND I ENJOY YOU CAUSE U LISTEN TO ME WHEN EVER WE TALK! YES IM IN LOVE .... I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE! DO YOU KNOW? WHOS A REALLY GOOD LISTENER? YOU GUESSED IT! MY DOG... IM MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY DOG ;)

Thought of you at... |11:55:00 AM|

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Monday, February 23, 2004

[[hmm...]]

wow good mood shattered ... wow ... wow... is this wat i get for having a good day whatever

Thought of you at... |9:02:00 PM|

[[CAKE CAKE CAKE ... NOT JUST ANY CAKE ANGEL FOOD CAKE]]

hola ...again my trustworthy lovers of the random and boring lol ...
just listening to an old cd and remembering good times and not letting naything bad happen to me well emotionally cuz im in too much of a good mood to let anything dumb get to meanyways im so excited cuz ... THE FUCKING CONCERT ON THE 14TH IF NICKLE EVER GETS ME MY TICKS lol well its only been a day i guess im just a little anxious lol o well lol and i dunno ... im jsut trying to stay in a good mood and hold on to the last strand of having a good like week which is the concert i guess i dunno ... i had so many things to look forward to but they like disappeard .. o well its not a big deal to me... ill get over it like always i guess... damnit i dont like being lkike this im gonna go bye

Thought of you at... |8:45:00 PM|

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Sunday, February 22, 2004

[[what a super sailorific day]]

its amazing how quickly my moods change ... anyways i had a good day i hung out with my muffin ... he is such a sweet heart lol i dunno really wat to talk about im just in such a good mood... its weird when im in a bad mood i can rant and rave for hours but when im in a good mood its like im so unacustom to it or watever that i just dunno what to say lol o well love you bye

Thought of you at... |7:52:00 PM|

[[im feeling a little better]]

im feeling a little bit better i still didnt sleep as well as i had wished i duno im just like sitting around and im happy my music is so loud cuz i no mike is getting yelled at for something and i deffinately dont wanna hear about it ... but what ever im still tired... i didnt go to bed till like midnight ... i just couldnt sleep and was getting yelled at and all that nifty stuff ... o my music isnt loud enough to block out my moms voice o well ill just have to turn my music up... its really the only way i can put up with this ... im so glad this computer is fixed cuz now i have somwhere to escape when i dont wanna deal with shit ... yea thats cool im excited lol o well im gonna go i duno if adam can comeover cuz the boy said he would stay home for me but i duno my parents might jsut be like roar no chell and all of that but anyways i think i just might go because i think they stoped yelling

Thought of you at... |10:55:00 AM|

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Saturday, February 21, 2004

[[even tho i may be in shitty mood...]]

i can think of the somwat good times ... and it makes me happy

Kiss your hand with permission
To show that you are royalty tonight
The radio is playing the song
That got us up to dance around
The record is spinning around and around
To the sounds of change

And we can stop to see you smile
Out of the blue, to colored sky
While the fireworks are lighting up your eyes
And everything is sitting still
Paints a picture such of you
It is you, honey, it's you

Every night at this time
We start to whisper
The future's hopes will keep the stars away
The radio is playing the song
That got us up to dance around
The record is spinning around and around
To the sounds of change

And I'm turning the dial
Spinning for reception

I'm not restless
You're the view
The radio is playing our song
Breathless, with not much to say

You sent me to the top of the world

Thought of you at... |11:26:00 PM|

[[sigh ( i think ive used this as a title once before )]]

HOW CAN MY GOOD MOODS GET RUINED SO EASILY BY THE STUPIDEST STUFF ... O WELL im still excited for thursday that is really the only thing i am looking forward to right now even how pathetic that is ... o well my life is pathetic i have to like fucking whatever... i dunno im just not good with words obviously ... i really wish i was in a better mood ill just sleep it off just like all my other lovely moods and now i found out that adam cant come over tomorro woo fucking hoo i really dunno ... i dunno i am always so fucking "happy" i wish these fucking mood swings would cease and disist because im so sick of it all i jsut wanna be happier for more than 12 hours ... be almost "normal" without people telling me that im sad so much and that i get upset over little shit i just dont like it when people WHATEVER I CANT FUCKING TALK MY WORDS MAKE NO SENSE F IT IM LEAVING BYE

Thought of you at... |11:19:00 PM|

[[hey cool kids]]

hey all vaca was good but it could of been better if lynn was there damn it all ... me and heather had fun well at least i did the majority of the time... i came home to my awesome boyfriend that i jsut love to peices and discussed the topics of pancakes and chocolate chips and milk shakes ... lol anyways to day dad made the "super computer" its faster than all the other peices of crap and its got xp which is pretty neat im excited cuz now i can go online with out like it being all gay and that lol well i tonight i get to watch michaela which is cool she is a sweet heart... i havent showered and im in a pretty good mood lol o well i m gonna go and touch my self and think of pancakes lol love you all bye

Thought of you at... |1:29:00 PM|

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Friday, February 13, 2004

[[ri vaca only 24 hours 58 mins]]

Throw away the radio suitcase
That keeps you awake
Hide the telephone, the telephone, telephone in case
You realize that sometimes you're just not okay
You level off, you level off, you level off
But it's not alright now
You need to understand
There's nothing strange about this
You need to know your friends
You need to know that

I'll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
watching you scream
Quiet or loud

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need
A friend as clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here

Throw away this very old shoelace,
That tripped you again
Try and shrug it off, shrug it off, shrug it off
It's only skin now
You need to understand
There's nothing fake about this
You need to let me in
I'm watching you and...

I'll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
No one's around

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need
A friend as clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in...Oooo

I'll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need
A friend as clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here
In here


that song reminds me of last feb vaca and it reminds me of mike i miss him not as much as heather but i did have a super duper kick ass time last year lol good and bad times and i will never for get them ok ill ttyl

Thought of you at... |1:03:00 PM|

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Wednesday, February 11, 2004

[[gay marriages]]

this is wat some ass hat said about gay marriages


"oh god i mean i think people really don't get this and the only porblem is that it could open up possibilities for other things to be passes such as under age sex with out the consolant of a gardian and also marrige to animals also it could open up bother and sister marrige which would be completely wrong and it would have to be suppported because of the passage of gay marrige think of the consiquinces from it it would eliminate pedifials and molesters which means you couldn't leave your house or do an thing because of it ~thought on gay marrige.
just think about it before responding"


what an immature niave and ignorant thing to say for all those who agree say I

Thought of you at... |8:20:00 PM|

[[OH MAH GAD]]

ME AND HEATHER FOUND OUT A NEW REVALATIONTHINGY WELL I DONT THINK THAT IS THE RIGHT WORD FOR IT BUT WATEVER that brand new and and the ex singer of tbs got in a fight and brand new wrote the song 70 times 7 because jesses gf cheated on him wiht the lead singer of tbs and so umm tbs rote there is no i in team as a response and used the lyrics "is that what you call tact/ your as suttle as a brick in the small of my back/ so lets end this call/ and end this conversation" just to spite him but now they are friends hooray lol i duno we were bored yesterday and heather told me the lyrics were the same so we researched it ooo spiff right o well im gonna go to some programing i duno if taht is a big deal to you

Thought of you at... |11:34:00 AM|

[[im feeling a hole shit load better]]

i talked shit through it seems like its all good im so excited to be going to ri i guess this program today is supposed to be hard but its kinda easy o well i think im better kinda im better ok im gonna go bye

Thought of you at... |11:09:00 AM|

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Tuesday, February 10, 2004

[[... wow my life is like shit]]

does like everyone hate adam... i mean i guess he has absolutely no personality wats so ever ... and i dunno does everyone just want me to like break up with him ... and im sick of everyone talking about cars... wow i could give two shits less ... i fucking hate everythin i was in good mood i dunno o well bye

Thought of you at... |1:09:00 PM|

[[]]

It's just like you to contest
Wearing like a label on your breast
Don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies with your charm & in your pride
A hopeful look draped in despise.

I want to give you whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself get so wrapped into you.
There's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you seem to push me far away from you.
From you, from you.

The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always, always, always be wrong

Trying not to be . . .
Trying not to be wrong


listening to old music... reminds me of all the good and bad tiems and i really wish i had the good times bnack where there wasnt so much fighting between everyone and like everyone was happy but me of course because ... i left the situation i was in and in return for a situation i liked better and now i dunno im kinda happy but eveyrone else isnt so now its making me sad... ooo thinking of the good times

Thought of you at... |11:14:00 AM|

[[hey im almost better]]

hey everything is getting a little bit better after talking it through with multiple people i just need to relax and be happy and hang out with some cool people... did you see my thing well obviously you did see how its all like snowing poink snow flakes and singing some awesoem brandnew song ... fuck yea ... i just gotta talk about more stuff and htis afternoon i have to go to bills and clean and then i wanna come home and sleep im not gonna hang out with adam at lunch today so im having heather go to lunch so me lynn and her can all discuss the feb vaca thing well i hope i can convince them i htink or something wateve rim just in a better mood and its good ttyl love ya ... chell

Thought of you at... |7:52:00 AM|

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Monday, February 09, 2004

[[:*(]]

i dont even no what to say cuz if i dont say the whole thing i might be yelled at but i dont wanna say the whole thing I JUST WANNA BE LEFT A LONE i just need to have fun and relax and have jsut a little bit of happy tiem taht i ahvent had in sooo long ... i just dont no i really just need to be around some friends that arent gonna judge me and jsut wanna be my friend and have fun just for a few days... jsut so i dont ahve to worry about stuff ... and relationships or whatever ... bye

Thought of you at... |6:12:00 PM|

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Sunday, February 08, 2004

[[WHAT THE F WORD]]

sigh... i dunno ... i really really really need to get a job because my life is getting so boring that its like i dont wanna get up in the morning ... ever like anyday and its like everyone has a life cept me and all i can do is play sims ... and let me tell you the simage has gotta stop i need to get a job and a life and some cool kid friends ... that keep me outta trouble ... im outtie im still depressed and my period is late WOOHOO

Thought of you at... |7:58:00 PM|

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Friday, February 06, 2004

[[why are we so busy we cant spend time with eachother]]

why are we so busy that we cant stop for a second and play a game with our family ... is it that tiring after a hard work week to play a game of monopoly... i mean .. we bitch how we dont get along then we cant even play a simple game together because we are sooo tired... i dont understand ... i mean playing games is supposed to be fun .. but i guess its just too difficult for ppl to handle... our generation of familys are too busy to take time and listen to eachother or even play a nice game of monopoly and we wonder why we have so much stress. because we never have time to relax and have fun with the ppl we "love"... if we love them then why cant we just spend time with them ... love you bye

Thought of you at... |7:16:00 PM|

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Thursday, February 05, 2004

[[hola chicos]]

im alright i mean i have tomorro off but the down side is i probably wont be able to hang out with adam ... because im not trusted ... but i guess ... id unno i gotta go so ... blahhhhh bye

Thought of you at... |5:55:00 PM|

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Tuesday, February 03, 2004

[[i fucking hate everything]]

i hate how everything had to come down to money EVERYTHING and how everyone has to slam stuff and yell at me because im tired and i have a headache ... and the fact that i havent looked at scholarships yet... i dont even wana think about going to college i dont even fucking wanna go anymore ... imso sick of everything i just wanna jump off a bridge for fucking serious .. im like wicked heated and i jsut wanna cry soooo soooo much ... like alot ... my good mood has disintegrated... and my fucking parents keep huffing about everything .. and im sick of everythig i just want to be happy so bad ... ya no i wish i could be my fucking dad just drink my fucking miseries away so i become as callous as he does ... he doesnt care at all ... about our feelings ... and i dont like being yelled at right now i just wanna be held and told its gonna be ok... why doesnt anyone ever tell me its gonna be ok ? is it because its never gonna be and its all ways gonna be not ok... i dunno ... i just wish everything was better but its not and i have to be brought down with my parents and their fucking sorrows ... love chell

Thought of you at... |6:22:00 PM|

[[alright]]

hey all umm ... nothing good really highschool really sucks ass i hate fuckin drama and i hate how like everything i just hate everuthing and joe is trying to fix my thing so that the bubbles show up butits not happening ... im just so excited for feb vaca .... hehe

Ceilings don't exist
And there are no floors beneath me.
If I were king of this night,
Would you become my queen?

And I hope, your majesty,
That you like your position.
I'll do everything I can
To keep you by my side
And I'll stare off through the darkness
To find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.

I'll have to walk a thousand miles
Just to find the ground deserving of your feet.
You could throw me down
And walk on me.
And I'd just look on through my love
And through the haze.



anyways i found out that friday we have the day off i new that we had it off but i just totally forgot about it i mean melissa didnt even no we had it off lol ... anyways ... i called her shit dick today lol ... cuz i texted her during chemistry ... and stuff... o well i guess joe is gonna have problems with fixing it ... um i dunno o well ... o yea and i guess the only reason lynn doesnt wanna go down to heathesr moms is because she wants to hang out with dan... whatever ... i dunno im so like blah but im excited still lol i love my muffin hehe ok im ognna go bye

Thought of you at... |12:03:00 PM|

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Monday, February 02, 2004

[[I HATE HIGHSCHOOL]]

I HATE HIGHSCHOOL because one minute someone is like your firned and the next they are tweaking and then like they arent mad and you think they are mad at you and its like dude if you werent mad at me then why were you like ignoring me and shoving me off when i was just asking how your day was ...? i mean what the fuck im telling you its like the worst .. and you cant trust anyone.... o well joe says school sucks too ... o wel im out bye

Thought of you at... |11:51:00 AM|

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Location: Webster, Massachusetts, United States

I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.

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