anything for you
is what you told me
the day i sat there with you
so alone
nothing lasts forever
when will we realize its gone?
anything for you
is what you told me
the day i sat there with you
did we understand that words were not enough?
you said to me that this would last forever
why did we rely on
the time when i said i can't live without you?
its all over now
why you?
you walked away
why you?
you said that i dont wanna work it out
you know that i try
i do lie sometimes
we're just wasting time
why did we rely on the time when i lie?
the time when i said i can't live without you?
you say to me that things have changed
i look in your eyes
and i know things will remain the same
you said that i fail you
we've lost it all again
open hand -- time to talk
lol i never actually listened to this song all tho ive had this cd for a while... i need to get my work done stop distracting me
holy crap
my broken heart ... it hurts ... and my stomach hurts... and i should stop bitching i guess i do that too much and i just guess im always sad... o yea adam likes some new "other girl" and he deffinately doesnt wanna get back with me at all ... he is just saying that he doesnt no becuase he doesnt wanna hurt me ... HURT ME? how can you not hurt me in this situation... i fucking love him .... and hes already forgeting about me and fucking like wants some new girls ass ... what the hell .... im so sad like whatever.. how can i not be sad ... really tho ... omg i just wanna die ... somone please help me ... help me get over this ... and over him ... and everything ... ihate my self for even trying again ... and ive learned i shouldnt it just makes me cry and hurt... and i dont want that ... i want ... happy... so fuck him ill find my own fuckin "other guy" and ill fucking be happy and itll be better ... just you wait fuckers just you wait... till summer adam ... till fucking summer... unless you dont fucking call me like i no you wont youll be hooking up with fucking so many girls ... and i no you will ... fuck it fuck fuck fuck ... its not like anyone even cared taht i am crying or that iw as crying on the god damn bus ... wow my mom walked right passed me last night as i was fucking bawling and fucking was like your attitude sucks ... fuck you fuck everyone fuck it ...
wow what the fuck...
wow i deffinately wanna jump off a fucking bridge... watever... i pour my fuckin heart out for what... nothing thats what... nothing not even a fucking response... what the fuck ...and im deffineately fuckin sick of all these tears... somone please please ... save me from drowning in my own miseries... angie is the only one talking to me ... whatever... i guess shes my only real friend that looks out for me
damn mcas...
teh yea i had to sit in related for FOUR damn periods ... yea ..not cool well i was entertained i got some weird kids in my shop... last night when like before i was going to bed i was thinking of all the reasons why i love(d) adam ....i really dont no if i do or not now ... its kind of sad ... and just thinking of that time i took a nap in his room and he came upstairs jsut to snuggle ... i want that ... im striving for things like that ... i want him back and i need to persuade him some how... lol what if hes reading this... i doubt it its not like he would care abouit it ... but i can plot anyways cuz i think like 1 person reads it lol ... anyways ... yea maybe i can write a list of all the good times we had between us and maybe hed be like omg i totally want that backk .. or maybe he will be like ... teh thats too much work i dont have time for you or any relationship such thing ... which is wat he would probably say... he got bored... of me and us... i wasnt bored... well nto really ... i mean it is getting warmer ... we just ended it before things could of gotten good i want him back now ... im really getting teary eyed now that i miss you is on by blink 182 ... (gett readdy for quotes as i read them and cry the quotes are beneficial to understand how i feel o yea im gonna write after the lyrics more important )
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
adam if you are reading this or even care ... i love you .. im so sorry that you dont any more and i wish i could find away to get you to love me like you once did .. if you dont read this ill just email you ... im really like crying in teh middle of shop cant make it obvious tho ill just put my hat on and look up stuff online ... damnit i love him sooo much ... why i wish i could just forget about it and move on like him ... its just not that easy i guess
nothing big today ... umm kristyn is back and she gave me a indian good luck charm lol ... umm yea and angie is staying over ... stupid shit and her bro cleaned her room and stuff... lol it was weird
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
finished my work ... im so like annoyed today ... im so like bitchy and stuff ... and stuffy ... i udnno what the hell my problem is but o well i have the rest of the day to sit around and touch my self... im not in a good mood at all im like gettin all sad and stuff... not cool ... i wish i had somone to talk about this with ... but ive bored everyone taht i even mention it to but i guess i should just get over it all ... and thats what i need to do just get over it and find somone or somethign to consume my time just to forget ... i tried to keep my self busy this weekend and i think that its not gonna be that way next weekend i think its gonna bevery boring ... im so stuffy it sucks i hate everything... ive listened to the same cd like a hundred times and im still not sick of it...
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
i no i cant get what i had back with him ... its just i wish things could of ended up different ...
MEHHH
im tired ... and i dotn wanna be up my mom is making fuckin turkey ... what the hell is that i dont wantno damn turkey... i wants ome damn steak ... im not even hungry at all ... i dunno whatis rong iwht me ... im really really really tired too ... well cuz i just woke up...i wasnt tired before but i was bored so i slept ... i had a good weekend it was adventurous ... i wonder wat i will do next weekend ...
what the fuck is this shit lol anyways...
woke up at angies lol cuz my mom called im still wearing the hat and the green shirt and her room is still a mess... what the fuck lol i had some fucking like french toast and fucking chocolate soy milk helly yea it does the body good lol mynose is sniffley i think i need some ciold medicine... i wonder where it all went ... hmm lets ask angie lol o well i have a terrible cough too lol damn angie needs to clean her room lol i like this hat its so cool i lol angie was doin like pushups like last night but this mornign she couldnt lol i think i wanna go running later ... o yea all our chinese food is gone from last night her dad ate it what the hell is that all ab9out lol anyways ... umm i think im gonna get changed and go for a run lol yea that sounds like fucking a great time hell yea .. im still gonna gank this shit
holy muffins
im hanging out with my good friend angie lol and im like feeling all kinds of dizzy? lol ill just call it that umm yea im wearing her green fucking shirt and her white hat and im totally gonna gank this shit lol ... and we watched fear and loathing and we went to the bowling alley ... i dont remember what else... wait we went and had dinner too lol at a chinese place ... damn i look hot lol im totally gonna take this shit .... lol my makeup is all kinds of fucked up cuz my eyes were watering .. from some strage reason ... tomorro i mean today ill be reading this and ill be like what the fuck lol o well lol its hard to type and see but all i can see is your face... is that a song ...who cares lol ive been watching fuicking the colors that happen when you listen tp windows media player lol for like a hlaf hour lol ... the bowling alley turns all cool after 10 its like crazy ... its when the " cool " kids come out lol o well im in such a daze that i dont no whats goin on lol i musty return to my friend angie lol good day to all that no what im gonin i dont no how to spell going ... hmm did i spell it right there ... it doesnt look right... o well
love ya
chell
Early in the morning
wake up to a bright blue sky.
Lightening comes at any time
To break it down and make it ugly.
I know that it's just for me,
Cause no one else can feel or understand.
That's alright because,
I can handle all that you throw down.
And I hope you find a perfect place
where skies are beautiful all of the time.
That's all that matters pretty pretty.
And I know that's all that you could care about.
There's no reason why you can't.
It's all about the icing
Nobody cares about what's inside.
You could see the outiside face.
It looks good it must be great.
And I know that is all you see.
What would it matter anyway,
Cause I could see right through,
Your pretty pretty skin, today.
And I hope you find a perfect place
where skies are beautiful all of the time.
That's all that matters pretty pretty.
And I know that's all that you could care about.
There's no reason why you can't.
No reason why I should try to go on anymore
My reasons all gone.
No reason why you should,
Try to make excuses to make me feel alright.
Excuses call for stupid reasons.
And I know that it's not much that I can offer right now.
Just give me one little second
And I will try my hardest
To make you feel like I'm someone else.
im doing a facial thing... im gonna get my hair cut... im kinda sad right now i just like cried so i got my mask wet .. damn it all and im watching my new dvd its so good ... all of the uncut out takes are so funnie lol ... ill just have to sit and watch them alone ... not like anyone would wanna anyways ... o well im sure im gonna find something to do today ... o well ok im gonna go now ttyl
I got to regret right now (I'm feeling this)
The air is so cold and null (I'm feeling this)
Let me go in her room (I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)
Show me the way to bed (I'm feeling this)
Show me the way you move (I'm feeling this)
How can you be sucha blur (I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna
Where do we go from here
Turn all the lights down now
Smiling from ear to ear (I'm feeling this)
My breathing has got too loud (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bedroom floor (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bathroom mirror (I'm feeling this)
Were taking this way too slow (I'm feeling this)
Take me away from here (I'm feeling this)
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna
This place was never the same again after you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone on the street
With a cigarette on the first night we met
Look to the past and remember her smile
And maybe tonight I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the seat I think I'm falling asleep
But then all that it needs is I'll always be dreaming of you
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna
Fate fell short this time (Fate fell short this time)
Your smile fades in the summer (Your smile fades in the summer)
Place your hand in mine (Place your hand in mine)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna)
Fate fell short this time (Fate fell short this time)
Your smile fades in the summer (Your smile fades in the summer) (So lost in this illusion)
Place your hand in mine (Place your hand in mine)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna) (So lost in this illusion)
Fate fell short this time (Fate fell short this time) (I'll be alone, you'll be left)
Your smile fades in the summer (Your smile fades in the summer) (So lost in this illusion)
Place your hand in mine (Place your hand in mine) (I'll be alone, you'll be left)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna) (So lost in this illusion)
Fate fell short this time (I'll be alone, you'll be left)
Your smile fades in the summer (So lost in this illusion)
Place your hand in mine (I'll be alone, you'll be left)
I'll leave when I wanna (So lost in this illusion)
im in such an awesome mood i had such an awesome time with will he is such an awesome guy... i just need to plan something for tomorro ... i wonder wat somone is doing ... i have to find somone to hang out with ... kristyn is gone waht am i gonna do ... o no sniffle ... o well im in a good mood listening to my new cd... o yea me and will saw these really cool kids hangin out at burger king lol the ghetto biker kids from websta lol from the ghettos riding their bikes in the ruffest part... the parking lot of price chopper lmao ... what a bunch of fags lol o well ... i had fun umm ... maybe ill call up somone ... o well maybe ill get my hair cut
adam emailed me which is cool but depressing... i hung out with will today... i still am he is playing with my lincon logs ... we saw this weird movie its like eternal sunshie in a spotless mind its really weird but its good and funnie... um yea i had fun i got mymom a pressetn and like now me and will are hanging out ...i got the new blink 182 cd and a new music dvd which is cool too i think im gonna email adam back i just dont no what im gonna say .. im not really sad but o well ... im gonna go and do that ... ok byez
Can you leave me here alone now
I don't wanna hear you say
That you kno me
That I show be always doing what you say
Cause im trying to get through today
and theres one thing i know
I don't want to think about you
I think about me
don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
I think about nothing
don't wanna talk this one out
I won't let you bring me down
because I kno I dont wanna think about you...
Don't wanna think about you
when i wake up here tomorrow
things will never be the same
cause i wont wait
cause i wont change
and you'll always be this way
now im gonna get through this today
and theres one thing i kno
Run away, run away...
run away, run away, dont wanna think about you
i can get over this ... i will get over this ... and im not gonna let it bother me one bit ... i can go on with my life with out this crap .. if anything itll make things simpler i will stop loving him ...
....eventually ...
good bye ....
chell
later today
... i went for that walk ... i guess the bartlett tennis team was practicing atthe swings... kept me and clyde occupied... we watched the green balls go back and forth ... i started to call random people... i called will ... and he picked me and clyde up and we went to he house ... and we hung out and everything and caught up and then he brought me and clyude home and invited me to go see that new jim carrey movie that looks absolutely adorable ... so i was like yea sure ill call you tomorro ... so im gonna call him i think my mom is gonna let me go ... its so cool to hang out with will me and him just getalong and its cool lol it was fun and then i talked to my mom about college somore... thats about it ... i think adam is gonna call me lat4er ... alright ttyl ...
love you
bye
its spring
you can really feel the differnce and smell it too ... the smell of spring reminds me of new loves ... just because idunno ... like it reminds me of like flirting and sercretly hopeing you will see a special someone not even to talk to them just to be in the same area as them ... and holding hands and getting all flustered when you first kiss them ... aww just thinking of that its soo cute... umm im gonna take clyde for a walk to the swings to think about things ... yea its not like i have anything else better to do ... o well i guess il talk to you later ]
bye
chell
I believe you belong in Pride and Prejudice; a
world of satire and true love. A world where
everything is crystal clear to the reader, and
yet where new things seem to be happening all
the time. You belong in a world where your
free-thought puts you above the silly masses,
and where bright eyes and intelligence are
enough to attract the arrogant
millionaire/prejudiced young woman of your
choice.
Which Classic Novel do You Belong In?
brought to you by Quizilla
ive actually never read this book and i didnt even care about what quiz it is ... it just fed my feining for random quizes i find on the net... i think i may need help lol
... i had a weird day ... umm this morning ... i went to chemistry first cuz melissa said i had it first and mr lehman looked at me and shook his head when i tried to open the door ... and it was locked ... so melissa came and shes like its day one ... and im dumb and i was like well wat do we hav efirst then ... shes like related and i was like are you serious ...i must of sat infront of mr lehmans room for like 10 mins before melissa came lol ... and then i ran to related... umm i am depressed now tho ... lynn was telling me and and melissa about how dan took her to the ocean cuz i guess he made her made so he drove her out there TO NEW HAMPSHIRE for the day .. i just ... i dunno it made my like think i guess... like ... i dunno i was happy for her cuz that was the most adorable thing ever (especially beacuse i fucking love the ocean especially during the winter ) and ... i dunno i just kinda wish i had somone to take me to the ocean ... but watever its not a big deal ...
How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
i keep thinking of that song and that makes me sad too ... i smell like jeffs vaccum ... not cool ... talk about random ... i dunno i still just wish i had someone or something that special in a relationship even if it is just a friend ship ....
o well no use bitching to no one who care ... ill talk to you all later
love you
chell
this is how i feel
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
i no whats with me and the quizes
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i stayed home
cough cough... i kinda wish i went to school although i heard it was an easy day thanks to melissa who go my work ... but didnt deliver but its ok cuz i guess lynn was dizzy so its not a big deal anyway ... umm yea i did nothing all day but watch tv and blow my nose ... litterally lol i have no life normally ... teh you should see me when im sick .. it sucks cuz im like cold but im hot at the same time its so uncomfortable ... the painters are late i dunno what is up with that... maybe its cuz im sick ... i dont no ... im trying not to get too worried about it o well im gonna go ... ttyl love chell
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you cherries, make cherry bombs.
But when life gives you strawberries, suck up all the chocolate before you get sticky hands.
i no i no its the 6th entry of the day ... but everyone nos i dont write alot on achedemic weeks so dont even bite my balls about it ... well if i had balls i wouldnt want you to bite them ... i mean if you had or have balls would you like it if i bit them ... i dont think so anyways ... lol i think im just adicted but im sure its good for me to write this much..]
god you dumbass.
What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
lol once again i realize i have no life what so ever ... once again im gonna remind you that you dont have to read this ... you are reading this on your own free will ...unless you saw me slip some powder into your drink ... then you can bitch ... but till then kiss my ass lol sorry im so damn deffensive
lol another entry ... o well ... umm ... i helped sue make a certificate for some thing like dog thing and igot twenty bucks for it ... easiest twenty bucks i everymade lol o well im feeling a little better but my sinuses are all cloged and its making me dizzy ... adam called me i was so surprised ... he caleld to see how i was feeling ... it seemed odd to me cuz like no else wanted to no if i was feeling better ... o well umm im gonna go and like ... look up stuff or watever ... love you much ...
chell
i wish i cuold get over eveyrthing ... o well
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts ....
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
No, they weren’t meant for this
i no i write in this so much but its good cuz this way i dont bitch too much ... well if you dont like my bitching then fuck you ... i mean i didnt mean that ... o well who cares its my damn journal i can bitch as much as i want .. i mean you dnt have to read this ... i may tell you to but you can be like no you bitch too much in it and id be like .. but bitching is my life and youd be lik teh shut up bitch and smack me with your words 
damn memories ... they are so dumb
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21 This Week:
03/15/2004 - 03/21/2004
Weekly Overview
You'll be unusually focused on money and possessions Monday and Tuesday; go with the feeling and see if you can make bold changes to your spending or earning habits. Midweek you'll be back to your old self and maybe a little more socially oriented. Try to reach out to someone you don't know well but would like to learn more about -- people will be more receptive to your charm. The weekend will be slow-going for you, but not frustrating. You'll feel lazy and the pace should suit you fine. Energy picks up Sunday, and might take you by surprise if you don't have activities planned.
my weekly horoscope ... interesting ... you should of read my like romantic one ... most depressing ... it was like youll start trying to find a new love ... i dont think im ready for that ... lol im just so dumb ... im totally dwelling over some dumb shit lately ...
somone shoot me now holy crap ... my throat like hurts when i breath lol .. im sure thats not good .. i think my mom said something about taking me to the doctors... ive been so emotional ... since like yesterday lol ... o well im listening to hands down and im gettin teary eyed ... what the hell is wrong with me ... i need to take a shower.. later ... i wish i was still sleeping ... but like i couldnt breath so i got up and took some meds ... i hope they make me feel better and not all bitchy and shit cuz i wont be having that cuz my mom wil like beat me cuz i was being a bitch yesterday ... man i am definately rambling ...
"this is the best day i can every remember " <~~~singing online lol yea it sounds better this way ... damn this song ... "and you kissed me like you meant it" it makes me soo sad... i hope kristyn getsme those ticks for that dc show in june... i should call her .. i wanted to hang out with her this weekend but i dont wanna give her my sickness... cuz she misses alot of school as it is ... o well i must be going i suppose o well my nose is like dripping down to my chin ... ewww o well lol ttyl
love chell
how did i loose such an awesome guy...i must be the worst person in the world... some single cunt or something .. i dunno but watever... he is still there for me to talk to ... but i dunno its not the same... o well
i dont no what i want any more... im so torn.. between two things but ... its like ..(everyone should no what the hell im talkinga bout so im not even gonna go into detail) either way ... its like ill get hurt because ... everything is always the same... and im not the type of person that likes the sames shit everyday ... i hope im pmsing and not just being permenantly pessimistic ... because ... when ever im pmsing im usually just venting all the time ... or maybe i just am pmsing all the time ... hmm ... im weird
I never said I'd prove it,
I only said I'd show it
I gave you my all, but you wanted more
Lost on the inside, filling up the score.
I remember playing that one.
It's stuck in my head.
Over and Over. I took and you bled.
I never said I'd prove it,
I only said I'd show it
I gave you my all, but you wanted more
Lost on the inside, filling up the score.
I am impatient. Misunderstood.
What ever it is, I've got what it cured.
To your arms I run. My own life, it crumbles.
No longer am I damned.
No longer do I stumble.
I remember playing that one.
It's stuck in my head.
Over and Over. I took and you bled.
everyone and everything is getting to me ... my dad (he fucked up)... my mom (keeps telling us how bad of a mom she is)... the boy (makes it all worse)... and jsut everyother little thing ... im pmsing and im fucking sick ... yeap this is michelle in super tweak mode watch out for the broken glass from the plates she is throwing at the wall ... all because i jsut want some sleep... its different when they are tired... but o well ... and i dunno im suppose you have all heard this before so im just gonan stop here good day to you all
love chell
omg im so sick and i wanna go out
.... but i duno if thats gonna happen now ... holly muffins im so stuffed up ... o man o man ... and my head hurts.. i took some medicine so i hope it makes me feel better .,.. umm i ll write again later... ok bue
yawwwwnnnn
damn people wake me up... theni ate... then i came on the computer... den is here witha friend and i got awesoem grades on my progress report
im out
love ya
chell
...not..in a good mood .... grr i wish everyone would leave me the hell alone !!! damnit all
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21 March 19, 2004
Daily Single's Love
You think something is lost, but it comes back to you thanks to someone special. Show them how grateful you are with a tasty meal and long conversation.
teh maybe ill just make adam some dinner after practice lol ... or not
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21 March 19, 2004
Astronet Daily
Evidently, that was your last chance. You're here by default, but you don't have to spread your misery. Listen to the stories that are being told. History holds clues for those who pay attention.
*** i hope its wasnt my last chance ***
i gues i was totally led on ... what the fuck.... whatever... i dont even care ... but i do... im so fuckin dizzy .... lol damn cold medicine... whatever bye
this is what i rote adam after a night of hanging out with him ... am i pathetic ... or am i just in love ... you decide
i dont wanna be your friend anymore... i wanna be more than that... im sorry if you dont feel the same ... thats how i feel ... and if you want you can call me it doesnt matter how late .. its truly up to you.. im sorry but im just way too much attached to you to be anything less.. and if you dont like it than iguess... you can find a new "friend"... im sorry i love you
chell
: ( i love him so much
look at this
this one made me think of a girl joe would want ---> 
cant wait till i get to baby sit with adam... 
yea i love him
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home
I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again
And there's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
I will love you always and forever
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.
I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.
I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
and I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
but as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.
Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
: ( missing adam ... what else is new... i have to call dean lol i want mrs lew to leave so i can and she keeps yelling at me to be quiet teh... ill GIVE HER QUIET TEH OK I GOTTA GO ... LOVE YOU
... ok uhh good day ... i was vacuming and jeffs vacum caught on fire and i was like tweaking ... i dindt get anymoney it all went to my dad ... umm dens here ttyl
love ya
chell
lol sorry my hands are like numb... lol cuz of the coolata i bought this morning lol like tehy are relaly really numb lol o well ... 2 hour delay for school... fuck yes ... im excited ... ok umm i duno what else to say.... ok good bye
Take the picture from the wall cause you think that nothing matters.
Take a picture from the plane and it's a long way to the floor.
Cut your finger on the edge cause it's sharper than they told you.
Take a leap from out the window cause it's way too far to go through the door.
And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve.
I Dunno whats up with me and lyrics today sorry um like 2 blogs before was actually talking if you do read this and you havent seen it all day lol
love
chell
We sent out the SOS call
It was a quater past four
In the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea.
Four months of calm seas
Only to be pounded in the shallows
Off of the tip of Montauk Point.
They call them rogues.
They travel fast and alone,
One hundred foot faces
Of God's good ocean gone wrong
What they call love is a risk,
Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere
By some wave and end up on your own.
The hole in the hull defied the crews attempts
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio
And half buried bow.
Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed it to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
Off the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day
To give my love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies
Washed up thirty miles west.
They say that the captain
Stays fast with the ship
Through still and storm.
But this ain't the Dakota.
And the water is cold.
We won't have to fight for long.
This is the end.
This story's old
But it goes on and on
Until we disappear.
Calm me and let me taste
The salt that you breathed
While you were underneath.
I am the one who haunts your dreams
Of mountains sunk below the sea.
I spoke the words but never
Gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.
This is the end.
This story's old
But it goes on and on
Until we disappear.
Calm me and let me taste
The salt that you breathed
While you were underneath.
I am the one who haunts your dreams
Of mountains sunk below the sea.
I spoke the words but never
Gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.
it sounds so sad... i like it ... aww joe is like passed out on the desk... still thinking about adam... lol its not like he can read this anyways lol o well
lots of love
~chell~
omg so many distractions... lol... hmm i wish me and adam were back together .. but i feel like we already are ... with all this constant flirting and that... umm...but its not full on because it seems rong to me because he is just my friend... i dunno maybe its jsut some fucked up reflex or something ... o well ... but like i still kinda wanna be apart from him in a little way because i dont want wat happened to happen again... i wonder where joe is ... hmmm... o well ... im happy cuz me and adam are getting along well .. but like o well maybe we need to go back through the flirting phase again ... in any case ... i still want to get back with him ... i love him ... alot
o my f word ... i signed up for the sats right ... holy shit lol my mom was flipping because she wanted to help me and i was goin through it so fast and i was gettin frustrated cuz she was like breathing down my neck and then everyone was bitching at me and i just wanted them all to calm diown o well ttyl
You are Charlie Brown!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
uhh good day... got a ride with lynn so i didnt have to take the bus it was fun ... i came home ate alot now im tired and bored... i hate being bored : (
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the goat of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ goats
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the goat of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ goats
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
No, they weren’t meant for this
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
Chasin’ the goat of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away, away, away, away from you again
Chasin’ the goat of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ goats
lol i like my new twist on ghost of a good thing by dc... lol its funnie anyways ... enough about the goats uhh yea i really have to do some work jessenia is arleady done with her program and i am only on lol like work area... lol im dumb o well ttyl
love chell
"...Promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big, I just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes and tell me everything is wonderful now... I don't want to hear you say that I will understand someday... I don't want to start over again I just want my life to be the same just like it used to be... Some days I hate everything, everyone and everything, please don't tell me everything is wonderful now..."
hola... my day was good so far... i suppose... umm ... i went for a "run" lol lol my last post is weird.... lol im a weird kid ... umm yea i dunno i hung out with kristyn ... so yea ... anyways i duno what to say ... im not in a good mood ... good day
lol hooray... not ... i wanna canopy for my bed like ashleys its soo kick ass... last night i was depressed after i got off the phone i like cried? i have no idea what that was about ... im hoping its all pms ... but dont i always hope that ... so sumtimes it must not always be pms... o well ... i dont care ... i wana go for a run... i need to contact some person about goin out today.. i wonder if im hanging out with anyone... o lol kristyn calle d.. maybe ill hang out with her and maybe i might hang out with adam... or not ... i dunno i wanna go for a run ... would adam go for a run? ill call him thats what im gonna do now
ok ilove you all
love chell
saturday... hooray... umm this is the game plan for today finish fanning my face mask ... go to the bank...go shopping ... go to ashleys ... and yea ... it might not seem like alot but i dont care ... lol umm yea me and adam talked on the pone... he broke alot of rules ... lol because we are jsut friends and there are rules to that ... i mean you have to set up some boundaries lol anyways i have to go finish fanning my face ... tell me what you think of my new blog .... its not as nice at the other one but its justas good
You're Element is Light. You are friendly, happy,
social, bubbly, and can brighten up any one's
day. You are very kind and a real people person
because you have several friends (or atleast
should). You're cheery nature makes you lovable
and your stunning looks are sweet and stand
out.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla
To the world you may be one person, but to one
person you may be the
world...................................................you
love-sick puppy! you're so in love that it's
written all over your face. your friends know
it, you family knows it, and you probably told
that person you love them. smart move. maybe
they'll love you back!
What quote should I give you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a mermaid. The stereotypical mermaid had a
long, fish-like tail that blended with the
human torso at the hips and almost white skin
with red hair or some off color like green or
blue. They were the most fantastic singers and
the siren type of mermaids would lure sailors
with their lovely lullaby into dangerous rocks.
They were mostly harmless and peacefull and
they were content to simply sit on the beach
combing their hair or in the water playing with
friends. They never wore clothes and were
always women. They were sweet and a little
deciteful at times. (please rate)
What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
alright... im feeling a little bit better since the fact that my family is home woohoo... o well i think the boy is goin somewhere... which is spiff... and umm ... i duno... i fille dout some application at the hospital ... i wasnt excited ... my mom noted that i was depressed so she bought me a slushie... i came home... ive been home twenty mins and i havent taken my shoes or jacket off and i dont even care... AT ALL blah i have to right adam back ... i soo totally am in love with him he is awesome ... and for al you people who think im talking about him to much ... then dont read this shit cuz adam is an important part of my life and thats why i dont talk about you in herre
omg today i .... am gonna do everything that i dont wanna ... woohoo im so damn excited... o yea and last night the kids were being brats ... that sucked... i woke up and had to call everyone and make plans... i also decided it wouldnt be best if me and adam hung out today... it wouldnt make sense .... id just wanna get back to gether with him ... yea and thats not gonna happen ... im already feeling like he doesnt wanna get back together ... but thats just how i feel ... umm yea so now i have to finish my cover letter and get off line so my nana will call unless she is smart and calls my cell ... that would be the not nana thing to do tho ... o well
lots of lvoe to those who care
chell
its over... i guess... i dnt want it to be ... but its for the best... im not as upset as i was... or as much as i thought i would be ... im probably in denial... you dont even understand how badly i just wanted to run up to Him and give Him kisses and tell Him i was sorry for being dumb and thinking this was a good idea... and im hoping it is ... im hoping He is not gonna rush off and find a new gf cuz i dunno if i could handle that i would be like OMG and like cry ... like i almost was on the bus this morning and this afternoon... just seein Him makes me remember all the fun times ... but then i tell my self its for the best ... is this the truth or am i just tell my self this so i dont go totally nuts ... o well ... i still love Him ... really i do ... alot ... but i no its for the best ...
p.s. i hope we get back together
lol im kinda of a weird kid BUT THATS OK at least i dont like fucking ... do normal stuff ... teh ... anyways i had an all right day i mean i have had better but like i Dunne .. I wish new how to achieve this happiness that im gonna right a research paper on .. how am i supposed to explain something that i haven't experienced in like ions LOL or is it eons ... ? teh that didnt tell me anything lets just say a long ass time lol like i have fun but i guess it doesnt make us happy ... and its the little things ... i no its the little things that make us happy ... i dunno im so confused what to believe... and if money doesnt make us happy then why do we go through life striving to be the best so we can have the most money.. who cares how luxorious your life is as long as your happy i guess ... but then why does everyone make you do these terrible things for money... we live in one fucked up world ... o well ill probably write again ... o i broke the zipper on my pants cuz i had to pee really bad lol
i like these pants
reading all these english papers are making me depressed ... are they tryin to tell me there is no such thing in true happiness .... than what the fuck am i supposed to be sad? i dont get it o well i didnt have a good day everyone irratates the hell out of me and like im just stressed ... and i just wanna lay around and do nothign ... o well
i hate my life i no it could be a hole crap worse but i no mine could be alot better ... maybe im just tweaking cuz im a fucking annoying bitch ... o well i have to do english hw cyaz
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
--Mother Teresa
lol i found it in somones profile lol im such a stealer what an ass i am ...
im not as excited as i was earlier blahhhhhh lol .... like its nice to sit around and eat but now my tummy hurts and im tired and i no that my muffin is calling me later so im not about to be taking a nap because if i do i no he wont wanna stay up he will be tired from his hard day ... awwmy muffin ... i dunno i guess im gonna go ... one last thing ... heathers a bitch
im finished with my work and this terrible week ... wel ive had worse but this wasnt one of the best... o well ,.... i wish i could go home and snuggle with my sexy muffin but he has work :-( o the depression o well .. ill just go home and eat and like sleep that will be heaven after such a hectic week even if i did go to adams ... all i would wanna do would be snuggle cuz im so tired and like i duno just it feels like alot was taken out of me this week and i just want it back ... and adam is just so good at making me feel better ... well better-er yes yes im gonna go home and eat some ribs im so excited ...
i love you guys who read it ... cept for heather your a bitch cuz i guess im a bad friend and i just express it more by being a bitch but o well i was nice and everything im just sick of you and your shit and tell me that im only your friend foryou moms house ... teh take the dick out of your ass and you might just realize that im not ... good day to all ... cept heather
I said, "that boy's handsome"
and a little bit of me wanted to be beautiful.
Carrie said, "It's hard to look in the mirror these days,
when everyone has everything you'd rather be."
There's just something about his smile.
He looks so nice,
I wish I had friends like that
They'd always be there for me,
I wouldn't look bad
Yeah, they wouldn't talk behind my back.
too bad for me : (
I SEE HOW IT IS you cant even tell me your opinions of my blog ... or is it cuz i wasnt online last night to tell you that i changed it ... COMON PEOPLE you should no the drill by now i write in this thing more thand daily its like up to date coverage of chells life minute by minute you hear my secrets and me bitch about how much of a bitch heather is and i no how you are all interested in that lol cuz i no i sure am so please post your opinions ... unless you want me to call and remind you all of everytime i update this shit ... which as i already explained is about every sencon ok i have to go bye
hey could you guys tell me your opinons on my blog and the new color scheme it would be greatly apreciated - love chell
lol i put stupid stuff on my blog sorry if it loads slow but lol your just gonna have to deal iwht it till i get rid ofmy fedish of random things
JOE IS DEAD SEXY ... but on to other things umm i hate shop i hate it i hate it i hate it ... blah i hate stupid people (which by stupid i mean smart) .. i hate them ... anyways i just wanted to vent lol that was the bitch assedest vvent ever good day
im so awesome i dunno why im in such a good and conceited mood but i am not worried one bit... and for all those bitches that have to put passowrds on their site to protect them selves against assholes like me uhh dont look at my site its not fair to anyone but you cuz now all your gonna see is me beaing an asshole on my site about bitches like you lol well love to all the ones who still care *cough* (melissa, joe, lynn, and adam)
MS LEW CAME UP BEHIND ME WHEN I WAS WRITEING LOL heather is still a stupid bitch good day
LOL I JUST FUCKING WROTE THE SHIT AWSS BEST FUCKING DISSIN HEATHER FUCKING JOURNAL LOG AND IT WENT AWAY o well ill just say this then HEATHER IS A STUPID BITCH WHO THINKS SHE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT CUZ SHE CAN GO ONLINE WHEN WE ARENT SUPPOSED TO O WELL THE BELL RANG FORLUNCH
im in a better mood and like ... obviously just in good mood... cuz i have a great bf
roar i fucking hate everything ... my self includeing... cuz i cant fucking keep my self in a good mood for more then fuckign 5 hours ... and i just wish i was never fucking accidentally made... i was made with lust ... obviously not love
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, seamless and sure.
They leave me broken and, in need of a cure.
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, sifting my soul.
They leave me broken hands, those diamonds from the coal.
They lace me along,
Giving synapse of white lines.
Then chasing the dawn,
Story book syntax.
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself and this life.
Silhouette lies.
And your eyes, speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
They leave me broken and, bruised and bleeding.
Your eyes, resting in flame,
Leaven me breathless again.
Like hydrogen spread on fault lines.
Or dead, kissing me with exposure to radon.
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself and this life.
Silhouette lies.
Your eyes, Your eyes.
Speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, lead our way.
Filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
You slit the throat, of I know.
About myself and this life.
Silhouette Lies.
You slit my throat.
Because I know,
That this life, is a lie.
So slit my throat.
omg .... im so sick of people getting mad at me for the littlest shit and its really getting to me now ... why oculdnt adam just tell me that he wanted his sweater i would of totaly given it to him today if he said something... and when i was joking around and threw that paper at him and he got pissed ... WHAT THE FUCK.... this is so dumb im so sick of this shit ... i this morning i woke up to the sounds of my mom and brother screaming at eachother hooray im excited to be fucking alive this morning let me tell you .... now im gonna wallow in my own pitty ...good day
everyone is annoying me and and making me very very agitated like grrrrrr its making me mad and its giving me a head ache and i just wanna be happy and snuggle up in my pjs and not worry about anything but fuck that ever happening
lol i just wanna be vulgar because these programs suck the cock lol but anyways umm ...
i m in the most super good est mood ever but i was pissed when mrs lew was all up in my shit and that lol but o well i will live im going to adams house today... lol o wells i think im gonna go and touch my self or something good day to you all good bye
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
My Memories
|December 2003|January 2004|February 2004|March 2004|April 2004|May 2004|June 2004|July 2004|August 2004|September 2004|October 2004|November 2004|December 2004|January 2005|February 2005|March 2005|April 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005
My Blabberbox
My Friends
Da boy
melissa
kristyn
Aija
Josh's old
Josh
Joey
Joe
Jessenia
My Space
Aija's Space
Josh's Space
Stephy's Space