Monday, October 31, 2005

[[wow im a shitty person]]

i have like two friends ... no one likes me ... why cant anyone just sit and talk to me ... im so fucking annoying and whiny and dumb and fucking bitchy ... why doesnt somone just fucking shoot me in the head .... god damn it ... im soo sick of everything ... i hate myself i hate my fucking life ... i hate having everyone be upset ... i fucking hate everything

Thought of you at... |10:31:00 PM|

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

[[wow]]

... things i have realized...

im am an anxious fucking mess ... im scared of everything ... i dont like being in big groups of people ... i cant handle being late ... i feel like a failure at everything i do .... i cant even call in delivery ... i think i have social anxiety ... maybe but i dunno cuz i odnt seem that way ... but like ... i really can just go and do anthing ... im so scared about school im soo stressed out ... i dont even know why tho ... why cant i just sit down and study .... why cant i just fucking clean my room ... save my money ... or fucking be a good person ... i have all this time do to all my work but i have no ambition ... i dont know what the fuck is rong with me ... and i cant talk to my mom cuz ill get yelled at for being lazy ... but its like everytime i start doing homeowrk i get a little panicky because its soo hard and it frustrates me and i just close my book and dance off to my next unfinished task ... why do i continue being like this its 1130 and i still havent showered... i wanna go running but every time i lace up my shoes i hesitate and take them back off again ... maybe sitting and doing nothing is more fuckin fun than doing anything ... or as far as im concerned it is ... i get soo nervous in situations with people i dont know with large crowds ... i dont even have any intrest in going to any shows ... i feel soo lame ... i feel like no one understand anything ... and as soon as they try to help they dont care anymore ... wtf

Thought of you at... |11:18:00 AM|

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Saturday, October 01, 2005

[[today]]

today is the day that happened

Thought of you at... |1:44:00 PM|

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Location: Webster, Massachusetts, United States

I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.

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