... finally a real fucking post you can read ... right ...
i have alot of shit i need to get teh fuck off of my chest and here i go ... tell me if i do it too rudely
I HAD THEEEEEEE BEST DAY ... ya no cuddling josh and the ordinary ya no its like ... just awesome cuz hes soo sooo cute and really teh best guy ever .. i just feel like i dunno ... i dunno today i felt like ignored or something bbut THATS HOW I FEEL ... ok ... how i felt ... i dont care what it seemed like and it probably was my fault but thats what i was feeling i was feeling ignored ... like i shouldnt have even been there ... i shoulda just had my mom pick me up at 8 instead of sitting there for 2 hours ... sitting ... not visiting my wonderful bf ... i mean i usually dont have a problem i dont no why i do right at this particular moment i just felt ignored ....
wateves thats done and over with ...
right now .... i fucking hate people ... i hate people i fucking hate them ... really ... why do they have to be sooo goddamn fucing incondsiderate bastards ... people in general keep in mind ... this is not headed toward anyone in particular ok ? ok ... now people ... fucking assholes ... degrading women ... or just being fucking dickheads cuz they thinks its funnie ... wtf is wrong with people ... like seriously i dont understand why people have to be sooo goddamn ignorant ... i sit and look through peoples profiles online ... i look and see half of these guys are bitching about being lonely ... mostly so girls ... niave girls ... like me can go and talk to them im not saying that i have done this recently but i have done it in the past ... naive girls will goo and be like awww poor (insert asshole guy name here) ill talk to him ... and hes like hell yea im gonna use this bitch for ass .. .and then after a few weeks of talking to them they get sick of you and your shit and they go back to putting that away message up or watever and its like wow ... watever ... i take this as a learning experience and i sit and think wow ... people are dumb ... i look through peoples profiles again and i look and see these lyrics ... degrading women to no end ... i dunno when i started to relize how fucking piggish america has become towards women ... wat happened to moving forward .. pop culture has steered it right in to the fucking gutter ... it disgusts me ... this one tim ei went to blockbuster with will and i saw this video game ... it was some bullshit game about getting drunk having sex and getting money ... like how ridiuclously fucking pigheaded are guys really all about that ... i hope not ... but i mean seriously fucking a some times i wonder when it all will just end and when we all get a new shot ... all the good ones who want a make a difference make it to the top ... not the shitty assholes with alot of money but the real people ... the ones that one sacrifice thousands of jobs for a couple million dollars ... people are starving because of peopel like that ... FUCK THAT ... human nature is bullshit
... i dont have realy anything to talk about ... well me steph and brian went to some gay ass local show that sucked sooo much balls i dont even no why i went ... i had fun with brian and steph tho lol ... crazy kids lol ... but yea wateves im just in a shitty gay mood ... cuz i am bye
this was one of the few prom dresses i tried on today i liked this one the best 
yea soooo ... i have pnemonia .. wtf ... lol i think its kinda funnie cuz like ... i have no fucking idea how i got it lol ... but yea and ... this morning after being medicated for over 12 hours i wake up and i relize my hands are covered in little red dots ... ill show you ...
yes thats sexy right lol
yea so ... im waiting for the doctor to call me or my mom back to tell me whether im going to die or not ... pretty exciting but i am feeling better which is good so im gonna go and not die : D ... o yea and im prob going to work to .. lol yeaop im awesome ... later
Who started this whole following of genre based lifestyles?
Why is it so important to so many teenagers to feel like they belong to a certain group or clique? As much as teenagers like to believe that they themselves are individuals when in fact if they stopped and looked around they would relize;that most of the people around them--their friends and such--are exactly like them. Which is kind of pointless, why can't they just be themselves ... i really dont no ... im kinda just befuddled right now and i cant think but o man if i could id sooo come up with a good argument ... cuz o man i hate fucking people
yea .. on valentines day ... its not like i can see joshy anyways but wateves ... o man i just wanna feel better lol i wanted to go to school and work but i like keep coughing and its soo fucking annoying and im so angry i wish i could see josh but his parents are fuckign ridiculous ... god ... i dunno im tired ... non of this medicine is working ... im out by e
I have currently decided that I will never succeed in life. Alright, so this english course I have been taking for the past one and a quater semisters had taught me alot about myself and my abilities. This teacher has not only shown me that I can not write but also has shown me that I will never succeed in any education past highschool.
I have lost all confidence in myself. I once thought that I was almost good--that I could get into college and succeed--well I am not. Not only am I failing english this year I am also failing a math class that I have been taking for the past four years. This isnt something to be proud of. Not to mention that, upon mentioning my acceptance to Worcester State that my good friend Aija said that it wasn't a good enough school for her, that it was a "shitty school". My confidence has been shot down to nothing. I hate this, I hate feeling that I will never be able to accomplish the goals I have intended for myself. I feel like I am just wasting everyones time and money on this adventure everyone likes to call college.
College is nothing but some shitty right of passage.
fuck this i hate eveyrthing about this i hate myself for not bieng able to be smart im soo fucking upset i dont wanna go to college cuz i no im a failure
so yea pretty much ... like .. it hasnt hit full on yet but ive come to realize that the past like week has totally sucked ... not becuase of circumstance but its because of myself ... i ve been finding my self taking vics everynight before i go to bed to calm down to help me not cry and shit ... i didnt yesterday but watever ... like i feel sooo shitty ... like i feel shitty about myself .. like thers nothing watso ever specail about me .. and i feel like josh doesnt even like i dunno .. liek i dunno i just feel like ... not loved i guess ... and this happens in the winter ... i dont feel special i dont feel loved .. i feel lonely no matter wat ... even if i have a bnillion firends and loved ones to help me and cheer me on i always feel fucking alone ... it feels like eveyrone goes on there merry business despite the fact that they are just a phone call away just to keep myself from crying ... i mean things arent as bad as they have been in the past .. but like i dont want it to get that way ... i dont want josh to realize all these things that i have come to realize myself ... imnot special ... there isnt anything great about me at all ... like wow ... i dont have skills ... ya no ... and im not even tyring to be all fucking napoleon dynamite funnie and shit its just like ... really im not special one bit ... im totally fucking average ... and i hate that .. i hate fucking knowing for the rest of my life that illjsut be another dumbass normal perosn in the crowd ... and i swear to god you always see these dumb ass people in those crazy ass disaster movies .. or even in documentaries and shit on discovery and shit ... its like ... those people are fucking dumb .. like nothign special they are always the people running from stuff ... id unno what that has to do with it but i seriously just hate knowing that i could jsut be replaced by somone else and that no one would even care ... like if i died i no people would be sad and im not saying they wouldnt but they would get over it pretty quickly ... i mean ... im not fucking great ... i mean wat was the last great thing you have ever seen me do ... nothing .. .im just shitty fuckng ugly fucking good for nothing michelle ... im fucking lazy ... fucking stupid ... just fucking average ... and i fucking hate that
like i dont even no why im even writing in here its soo fucking pointless no one fucking cares anyways ... o cept brian lol brian cares lol ... funnie stuff .. but i dunno i feel like i wanan cry but i dont wanan talk to brian about it cuz hes out with his friends i dont wanan waste anyone elses time more thani already have with my bitching and stuff like really im not even fucking worth anyones time ... and its totally fucking apparent ... so yea pretty much im gonna go upstairs in my room and cry now ... not that nay one reads this or fucking cares in the least ... so wateves ... later
yea so pretty much ... feeling like shit ... feeling ugly and just fuckin disguasted with myself ... cuz i mean i dunno ... fucking i fucking hate people ... wow i fucking hate them soo god ddamn much i hope they all fucking die everysingle fuckin gay one i hate them i hate stupid fucking people ... fuck them
this is a poem i had to write for english class ... about like our favorite word and like how we think of it or watever ... lol so this is it tell me what you think
In Your Arms
As I lay here in your arms
I stare at the onset of a new night
I lay and think of the sky;
As it bursts into burning orange colors
As it turns to the darkness of night
Feeling the warm winds of the summer day
Turning to the cool breeze of a summer night
Feeling your warm arms embrace;
Keeping me from feeling the on coming cold
I feel so safe,
I feel so secure…In your arms the word twilight reminds me of josh ... like sitting up at bay path looking at the sky and just sitting there ... im corny but ... i was thinking baout him when i wrote it so its special to me
this is the greatest thing i have ever made ... isnt it fucking awesome lmao 
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
My Memories
|December 2003|January 2004|February 2004|March 2004|April 2004|May 2004|June 2004|July 2004|August 2004|September 2004|October 2004|November 2004|December 2004|January 2005|February 2005|March 2005|April 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005
My Blabberbox
My Friends
Da boy
melissa
kristyn
Aija
Josh's old
Josh
Joey
Joe
Jessenia
My Space
Aija's Space
Josh's Space
Stephy's Space