so today was pretty good like old times ... but why does everything have to be soo fucking difficult why cant any one jsut get the fuck along .. i hate it ... will comes home and it getsakward and josh ditched me for his friends twice today ... and he says he lvoed me more but who can really tell ... im soo tired and i just wish that like seriously everything oculd be better i come hone and my bro and his faggot friend are being dicked heads i cant even watch tv cuz they are sooo retarded ... god today could abeen soomuch better if everyone wasnt so fucking selffish ... but does that make me selfish because i dont want anyone else to be selfish ... i dunno all i know si that shit was gay and i wish people liked me enough to give me a bit more time ....
what happened seriously ... i was reading all my old post froom like the beginning of last year ... and i was soo fucking cool and all my posts were so inndepth with so much emotion so much love and passion .. what happened between that time and now ... just re reading those posts made me remember how madly in love i am with josh ... and how good he is or at least was hehehehe ... but wateves ... omg i need to go on adventures ... i was reading some of them and i hardly remember any of it ... thats soo fucking sweet how come i never do that anymore ... im so lame ... FRO M HERE ON OUT im gonna be a changed girly ... ill do something to make me more likeable like beofer ... omg i have a new found love for josh .. i must show him these old posts maybe he will find his mad love from before ...an di dont care if he takes it the rong way ...kiss my ass ... im hot and i need to take a shower and i am still deciding wether or not to drive blahh lol ok bye
Spent most of last night
dragging this lake
for the corpses of all my past mistakes
sell me out, the jokes on you
he is salt and you are the wound
empty another bottle
and let me tear you to pieces
this is me wishing you into the worst situations
i'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go
but you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat
whoa whoa oooh whoa whoa
your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears
rather ones that just don't care
cause i know
that you're in between arms somewhere
next to heartbeats where you shouldn't be asleep
now i'll teach you a lesson for keeping secrets from me
take your taste back
peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in a while
take your taste back peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in a while
and did you hear the news
i could dissect you and gut you on this stage
not as eloquent as i may have imagined
but it will get the job done
you're done
every line is plotted and designed
to leave you standing on your bedroom windows ledge
and everyone else that it hits
that it gets to
is nothing more than collateral damage
take your taste back
peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in a while
take your taste back peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in a while
hahhaaha random lyrics ... uhh yea ... im in a silly mood i dont wanna go to work ... and i need to take a shower ... i wanna play and be silly
o yes i have decided to never drive aagin for fear of getting rear ended again ... fuckin a lol but yea ... never again so ill take back roads fuck main roads ... bah lol i dunno i wanna cause some havoc lol
maybe i am hard to get along with... how come no one ever tells me thesethings ... lol well who wouldreally... i never thought that i was somone that couldnt get along with people ... imean wateves ... that must be why i dont have alot of friends ... i feel so lame ... cuz i dunno god dont people get sick of me ... im gonan cry i hate myself rrrrr
everyfucking second i jsut wanna be happy again .. i dont just wanna be something theats their for convience ... i wanna be cherished ... i think i was once what the fuck ... im so sick of crying i just wanna wanna be loved ... and i know sound like a god damn broken record. omg what the fuck i cant live like this constantly. why cant i jsut fix this?? i just wanna be happy with somone that will treat me right instead of something on the side. ow this hurts so bad im so sick of my life it just fucking sucks. i wouldnt even care i just wanna fucking i dunno. i cant even think straight . im so sorry for all the things i have ever done what di di do to deserve all of this hurt all the time . all o fthis mistrust i just wanna be loved . my tears are staining my face and i dunno im so sick of bitching . i just wanna move far away and start over . why didnt i just go to fucking vermont like i wanted to . why did i stay in this shity state in this shitty town with shitty people . i need new people people who will make me feel good and cheer me on and tell me when i do things right and appreciate the little things in life . i cant live with these fucking morons i cant breath i need to leave fuck worcester fuck college im out im fucking done im just gonna roll up and die who would fucking care any ways ... no one thats who cuz who the fuck cares about that stupid bitch michell ewho always cries about stupid shit that means nothing nto anyone else ... what does it fucking matter she was dumb fuck this place and fuck all of you live is so pointless why even fucking live
maybe im jumping too quickly but wateves ... i jsut dont wanna go back to fighting and getting between him and his friends ... i just wanna be in love again ... and happy wtf happened have i not been informed god i just wann alove him ... damnit ... but yea my sickness has pretty much passed i think ... but i feel sore all over and i have to use that damn chloroseptic like everysecond but wateves to help me survive god this summer blows i was talking to aija and she was saying how she hasnt done anything .., and i was like yea i havent either all i do is hang out with you ... im soo sad this just sucks i wanna go out and do things like last summer ... o man such good times ...
i am sooo happy i can hardly stand it ... i even feel better ... o man im sooinlove i cant even contain it ... i lovejosh soo muchit hurts ... i hope i never screw thingsup again ... i love him o mg ... i just wanna cuddle and hug him and play with him for ever he makes m e soo happy and feel soo special ...hooray for me ... ok i have to go ... o man
i am soo sick its ridiuclous ... ijust wanna be held untili fall asleep ... im so dizzy i can barely think ... my throat hurts and im dizzy ...i cant think i want someone here with me ...wow
... ew what would that really feel like lol ... anyways ... its noon and i just got up ... i feel like ive wasted like soo much of mylife... but i have no one to spend it with anyways so its pointless to even like wake up .. the fucking boy woke me up ... i hate myself ... its so pointless ... everything is ...
i feel soo hated omg .. kill me somone i have no one in my life anymore .. .that loves or cares about me ... only themselves ... josh left me ... cuz im obviouslyy the worst person ever ... all my friends hate me and miss me ... o man i cant stop crying i need to keep myself busy i just want him back i never waanted thisto happen ...
i think its kinda neat that i can sit out side on my laptop lol .. this is funnie tonight is the night of the fireworks and i have the ability to actually see them ... but im not ... right now the smell of beer is wafting through the air ... people are getting drunk just because its a holiday ... they no longer really celebrate the true meaning of holidays ... o man its funnie cuz soo many people are lost and they just hav eno idea where the are lol but wateves i think its funni i have to go bye
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
My Memories
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My Blabberbox
My Friends
Da boy
melissa
kristyn
Aija
Josh's old
Josh
Joey
Joe
Jessenia
My Space
Aija's Space
Josh's Space
Stephy's Space