i hate how everything had to come down to money EVERYTHING and how everyone has to slam stuff and yell at me because im tired and i have a headache ... and the fact that i havent looked at scholarships yet... i dont even wana think about going to college i dont even fucking wanna go anymore ... imso sick of everything i just wanna jump off a bridge for fucking serious .. im like wicked heated and i jsut wanna cry soooo soooo much ... like alot ... my good mood has disintegrated... and my fucking parents keep huffing about everything .. and im sick of everythig i just want to be happy so bad ... ya no i wish i could be my fucking dad just drink my fucking miseries away so i become as callous as he does ... he doesnt care at all ... about our feelings ... and i dont like being yelled at right now i just wanna be held and told its gonna be ok... why doesnt anyone ever tell me its gonna be ok ? is it because its never gonna be and its all ways gonna be not ok... i dunno ... i just wish everything was better but its not and i have to be brought down with my parents and their fucking sorrows ... love chell