ok so like yea im just really just having a rant moment ...

i feel as if im not gonna have anyfriends next year ... and alot of it is my fault and im only semi sorry for my actions ... because im just not putting up with anyones bs ... and i dunno right now im just upset ... i really miss having a bf to hug me and be like ... are you ok and and to tell me that he loves me or just likes to be around me ... no one says shit like that to me and if they do it just isnt the same ... i dunno ... i just wanna love and be loved in return ... i mean am i ugly ??? ... i mean ... maybe i am ... i probably am ... but like i must have a shitty personality too because i see nastier girls get with good looking guys ... that are good guys ... i dunno im quite upset and just i dunno when ever i feel like this i just wanan be held ... no one holds me ... i think thats why i want a bf .... no one inmy family holds me and tells me shit will be ok ... i mean you wouldnt even have to say that just like give me a good reassuring hug and ill be fine because i no thats what you mean ... but i dunno shit ... maybe i deserve this ebacsue im a shitty person ... maybe im just pmsing ... but i dunno i miss it ... i wanna go out and meet guys ... nice guys ... the sweet kind that do stupid shit but mean well and just are silly and ... whatever i dunno im sooo upset somone please come to my rescue even tho ... i no you wont