lol yea so i was like kinda trying to fix it and then like i snaped the metal part off of it and now theres no place to keep the keyboard ... so like ... now its on the desk and it feels really weird lol ... o man if you could only see the way that im sitting its sooo funnie .. i have on of my legs on top of my monitor and the other on the top of the desk and my hands are inbetween my legs and they are typing on the keyboard on the desk lol ... good good stuff ... so yea umm yea ... lol i got my phone back but like this morning i was wicked wicked pissed cuz they wouldnt give me my phone and then the meds kicked in and i was fine i totally forgot why i was even mad but watever so yea then like i dunno what happened i just like went to clases and shit and i dont no but like yea i went to practice and got all covered in mud and shit it was good stuff im still covered in mud cuz im really really lazy ill prob like get changed and get cleand in like a lil bit ... o mg fucking hawthorne heights are sooo aweomse cant wait for saturday ... but yea umm ... i dunno whats going on right now ... umm i kinda feel upset ... like sad and stuff ... like lonely lol which is funnie .... i have soo much attention but its not what i want i could be liked and loved my trillions of people but .... i dunno ... its different when you have connection with them ... i duno and im just thinking about that i have like so many people but ... lke i dunno ... i dont think anyone connects with me as much as i want them to ... like i dunno like for example ... like i like to chill with them but they are like watever and they just pretend that they do ??? i dunno lol ... and everyone is just looking for ass this year which makes me soo sad ... cuz its so ick... bah i hate that ... i hate people .. .i hate when people get used i hate when people use other people....


"I just want to be liked for the right reasons by the right people is all ... but it never happens that way I have to suffer with a broken heart all the time ... I never get a break from it its always there tearing little by little with every breath and sight of someone maybe someone ... but not no someone for me ... not today not next week not ever ... no ... guys just hurt they are assholes and designed to hurt if life was perfect then guys would be sweet and true and honest and love you for who you are not by the way you look and cherish the little things about you ... and not because you fucked them ... but that’s how they are thinking with teh I don’t know I just don’t want to be hurt or hurting anymore I just want to be held" ... do you see that ... i posted that ... isnt that theee most emoest thing you have ever read ... ive been trying to find it for like the past half hour ... this is how i feel ALL THE TIME ... i wish i could write like that all the time ... ive been hurt so many times ... by so many different people ... i wish i could ... idont even no .. theres so many things that i wish i could have done and should have done to prevent myself from becoming so fucked up .... why didnt i take those chances .. .was it fate ??? maybe i have something better instore ... hopefully .... loneliness with so many people around you is soo akward ... its uncomfortable ... i just wanna feel whole again ... ihave so much love in me ... and its escaping through the wounds that people have created ...

i really dont no where i was going with that but ... whatever ...oman i just remmebr i have homeowrk ... and i remembered i wrote a post that i need to look at for further refrence on many subjects (its ok if you dont get that last statement .. itsjust for me cuz thats what im thinking ) lol

what would happen if like someone just poured out everything they thought out on to a paper constantly .... liekl would you read the book that is their mind ... would you invade somones privacy just to see what other people think ??? like if you really had a choice would you pick to keep that persons privacy or would you let your curiousity get the better of you ...

hmm o well im gonna go doo homework ... later

lol this is funie because i bet you didnt think i was gonna talk about such serious topics with that pussy title ...