ive felt like this since fucking like friday night ... i just wanna curl up and cry and i dont wanna do anything i just want to fucking die ... i guess is the words i could use for that likei seriously havent been this worked up about anything in a hwile and im really trying hard to pin it at wat exactly is making me feel so fucking suicidal ...i mean like ilove chillin with josh and i was still wicked upset and when i was with will today like absolutely nothing was funnie ... and work with becky yesterday was torture ... wtf ... what is rong with me ... is it the weather because its becoming winter time and i no ill soon be confinded to my house or is it because im worried about my past or worried about my future or even just my present .... but like i really im not even thinking about any of those things when im just like laying around when im normally upset ... its like just there always surrounding me like a dark blanket for like the past weekend... i want it to fucking end ... i hate cold weather this shit makes me so upset too o man i just wanna cry and my mom wont let me out cuz ive been out all fucking weekend which is fucking bullshit ... o man i hate this all im soo fucking like .... you dont even wanna no what im thinking about ... thinking about stupid shit thats stupid ... o man ... fucked up shit ... and i was just sitting in my room in the darkness when i got home and my mom was like cut the shit i dont need your attitude and i didnt even fucking giver her one but like she said i couldnt go back out so i was like watever and i just like walked into my room and she thought i left and then she called my fucking phone ... i dunno its fucked ... im sooo fucking like o man .... whycant i just get fucking over it ... i need to take a bath ... somone call me ... josh you did make me feel a lil better and so didnt you will but like i duno .... i need to chill so later ...call me or im me if im online