i fucking hate people who revolve their lived around drugs ... just about anything they say or do has to do with it ... and im not saying that i dont do them andi think its totally rong to do it ... but i mean ... living every second of your life to acheive something that you feel makes everything better... sometimes i just like to sit and admire things for what they are ... alot of people dont understand ... like just driving down an old road admiring the foliage aroound ... its beautiful ... just all of the green lucsious life everywhere ... its just awesome ... and ill say wow this is gorgeous and other people arelike yea trees ... great ...i dunno some times its worth living life like that ... and being straight ... like catching fire flies at night time ... thats fun ... going swimming at night ...andwatch a full moons reflection over the lake ... those things are the only things in life i need to keep me happy ... thats all you need ... its the little things that make up the big things in life ... and the people who keep their minds on something soo shallow miss all of the little things that life has to offer... doing drugs blurs your vision to see little things ... they dont give them the total luster they deserve ... and i love that ... swinging... or feeling a warm breeze on a cool night ... life is soo wonderful if only people would stop and look at all the things life has to offer them rather than taking the cheap and easy way ... its just not worth it
ALKSHDAFLKHASDFLKAJSDF fucking a i hate myself
lol i stayed up until 6 oclock this morning lol and im up at noon ... yea for some reason that doesnt seem healthy at all ... me and aija stayed up all night and cleaned my room and reorganized it is sooo pretty but im done talking now ... good bye
i just am really really bored ... i went and saw that new bewitched movie it was pretty good ... i went with my nana i thought it would be nice to be able to take her out to the movies ...
its becoming more and more apparent to me that i have no real needto go online anymore cuz everytime i do its seems that everyone is away... i guess im just lame
i was going to go out to the bar for soem drinks but then we all decided to out to friendlys and get ice cream ... i guess aija and will were supposed to call me cuz i think we were gonna maybe go out but so much for that bullshit .. i have no place in any type of friendship circle ... janessa called but i kinda just blew her off ... i guess im an asshole ... maybe i just cant do things with people meh i dunno wateves ... sometimes i get irritated when i hang out with aija and fucking will is acting like her dad that bothers me ...it makes me sad because he is like taking my friend away and i dont want that to happy .. but i need to go and take a shower ... but im out laterssss
this summer fucking blows ass i cant stand it ... i wish i had a fucking car ... id show everyone whats up ... but not really cuz im raelly fucking lame ... gawd i feel sooo gay ... why dont i have any friends ... i had sooomuch fun last year ...but at a price... and its comming to that im just going to have to pay the price in order to give my self some sort of sanity ... bahh but i sooo dont wanan go back to that .... it was soo sketchy .... i just really dont no yet ...im gonna be makin g some fucking drastic ass decisions soon and i dont even care ... im scared... and i have to go through this alone and that is the scariest part but watever ....
lol o man lol dane cook is soo funnie ... im really bored and icant really think and i dont wanna sleep lol and im yea lol so anyways ahh imcold lol im not wearing pants lol ... i miss being at aijas on a saturday night writing it was sooo fucking funnie lol but yea ok bye 
look at the babies : D
look at this picture i colored
i decided to start writting again. not because i thought like o man i should write, its just because i dont have a life. pretty much. yea . i never really realized it until now. The summer before i go to college and i have but two real friends that i hang out with, one of which is my boyfriend. like why dont people like me. is it just because im just like not fun to hang out wiht , am i lame, like wtf rrrr what is rong with me ... i dont understand at all i just awnna cry all the time cuz everyone is out having fun with their friends and when i say everyone i mean the two peopleihang out with ... i guess im just lame that i dont have any friends of my own to even call if im having a problem cuz they are out busy partying or too busy worry about themselves .. yea i guess i am kinda selfish ...maybe imjust destined to live life lonely ... watever ... ill be coollike my mom who hangs out with her like 2 friends about 3 times a year ... wow what a sad existance i live ...
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you. And I probably always will. I cant afford to make another mistake like this. Cause this is more than I can take. I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own device. I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
My Memories
|December 2003|January 2004|February 2004|March 2004|April 2004|May 2004|June 2004|July 2004|August 2004|September 2004|October 2004|November 2004|December 2004|January 2005|February 2005|March 2005|April 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005
My Blabberbox
My Friends
Da boy
melissa
kristyn
Aija
Josh's old
Josh
Joey
Joe
Jessenia
My Space
Aija's Space
Josh's Space
Stephy's Space